This One Time
by redclouds
Summary: Weird and funny happenings in each of the Akatsuki members lives.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note

Author's note

Alright here it is my second story. It is also a humor story and it deals with each member of the akatsuki telling you about an odd moment in their lives each chapter is going to be pretty short. 11 chapters with chapter one being Itachi.

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This One Time

Chapter 1 Itachi Uchiha

"This one time as a practical joke Kisame glued my eyelids shut and then yelled into my ear-Whatcha gonna do without your sharingan bitch?- And I somehow got locked in a closet with Orochimaru so the next day I set him on fire. You don't mess with an Uchiha's eyes."

"God damnit Itachi get a sense of humor." Kisame said.

End of chapter 1

………………………………………..

Alright there's chapter one. Each chapter will be about this long.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note

Author's note

Alright here is the second chapter of This One Time the Akatsuki member we are focusing on is the big blue guy Kisame.

This One Time Chapter 2: Kisame

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"This one time I was mistaken for a mermaid and some weird guy tried to make me his wife…. Leader-sama I don't wanna talk about this anymore its really embarrassing." Kisame whined.

"Do it Kisame I'm getting paid for this." Pein replied.

"Ugh… and so I had to resort to ripping off my clothes to prove I'm not a girl nor do I have a fish tail, the weird thing was he didn't seem to mind I wasn't a girl."

………………………………………

And that's chapter two. I hope to get a new chapter out in a few days instead.

The chapters are:

3. Sasori

4. Deidara

5. Kakuzu

6. Hidan

7. Tobi

8. Orochimaru

9. Zetsu

10. Konan

11. Pein


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note

Well here's chapter 3.

* * *

Sasori

"This one time when I was in Hiruko the joints broke and locked together so I couldn't move or get out. I was stuck like that for two hours before Hidan tripped over me and smashed Hiruko to pieces. I debated whether to thank him for freeing me or decapitate him for destroying Hiruko so I took the middle path and cut off his arms."

End of chapter 3

* * *

Alright next up Deidara


	4. Chapter 4

Author's note

Alright chapter 4, hopefully each chapter will get out within a few days of each other.

Did I ever put a disclaimer in this story?

* * *

Deidara

"This one time someone replaced my exploding clay with peanut butter. It was so gross un! The stuff was so sticky and it felt so weird in my hand mouths. I couldn't use my clay for a week because that stuff was still inside there and my tongues kept trying to lick it off. I swear to God-

"It's Jashin asshole!"

-that if I ever find out who did this I'm blow them up into a milion pieces!"

"But Deidara-sempai it isn't healthy for you to release your anger like that. Remember what leader said." Tobi chimed in.

"Screw health!"

* * *

End of chapter 4. Next up Kakuzu


	5. Chapter 5

Author's note:

Alright chapter 5 is here and its on my favorite character, Kakuzu. The greedy bastard.

* * *

Chapter 5- Kakuzu

"This one time my partner pissed me off so much I tore out his heart and put it in my collection… unfortunately he was a heavy smoker. Man that was one shitty week."

"So how did you get rid of the heart Kakuzu?" Hidan asked.

"Well a week later Pein brought in my new partner, he came up to greet me with a handshake and I tore out his heart on the spot and replaced the smoke one with it."

"Wow you treat your partner's like shit ya jackass." Hidan stated.

Kakuzu proceeded to decapitate Hidan.

* * *

And that's chapter five, next up your favorite Jashinist.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's note

Alright here's chapter 6, a little later than normal but hey whatever.

* * *

Chapter 6- Hidan

"This one time I pissed Kakuzu off so much that he cut off my arms and legs and buried me in the backyard, jackass, I was down there for seriously 3 days before Zetsu found me, of course he then decided to eat me after I called him a stupid fuckhead."

"You never learn your lesson Hidan." Kakuzu said.

"Go fuck yourself."

* * *

Alright, next up Tobi.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's note

Alright chapter 7 is here the child-like/evil mastermind akatsuki member, Tobi!

* * *

"This one time I….. uh…. huh, Tobi forgot what he was going to say. Leader-sama do you remember what I was going to say?"

"I don't care Tobi I wasn't listening when you ran it over with me, I hardly ever listen to you. Just say whatever." Pein replied.

"Well alright lets see…. Oh! This one time I replaced all of Deidara-sempai's clay with peanut butter, it was so funny, you should have seen his fa-"

"TOBI! THAT WAS YOU! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Deidara yelled.

"Uh, but Deidara-sempai, it isn't healthy for you to release your anger like that remember." Tobi said trying to evade harm.

"SCREW HEALTH UN! KATSU!"

"Bwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

"That's a heart attack waiting to happen." Sasori said.

* * *

Well the mystery culprit behind the peanut butter has been revealed. Next up Orochimaru.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's note

Alright chapter 8 is here featuring the pedophile Orochimaru.

* * *

Chapter 8

"This one time I was able to convince this twelve year old to come to my hideout and-

"Orochimaru!? What the hell are you doing here!?" Pein said confused and surprised.

"Well I heard what was going on and came by to share my little story."

"Nobody wants to hear how you raped a twelve year old. Fuck off."

"It's not rape if its consentu-

"Ahh! Fuck off Orochimaru!"

"Well you're being awfully mean to a former comrade."

"Fuck off Orochimaru!" This time everyone said it.

"Fine I'll leave but its not the last you'll see of me. And Itachi I'll be back for you especially, kukuku."

"I hope he gets hit by a car on his way home." Itachi said.

* * *

And that's chapter 8.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's note

Well for my fans (not many) here's chapter 9. It took much longer than normal because I'm in school and finals are coming up and I couldn't really think of something for Zetsu.

Chapter 9: Zetsu

"**This one time I got pissed off at my white side so I tried to eat him."**

"Unfortunately he didn't realize that we share the same body."

"**Are you insulting me?"**

"Damn right."

"**This time your dead!"**

"Geez those two are pretty stupid eh?" Hidan said.

"Look who's talking, you once confused a lawnmower with a fish tank."

Chapter 9 end. Next up Konan


	10. Chapter 10

Author's note:

Alright second to last chapter is up featuring the lady of Akatsuki, Origami Konan.

* * *

Chapter 10: Konan

"This one time I got too close to the fireplace in the lair and I started to catch on fire. Unfortunately Kisame wasn't their at the time, and Deidara is completely useless when it comes to putting out fires, by the time anything had been done I was half ashes, half paper, and all pissed off. Deidara got a haircut that he really didn't want and the rest of the members had to take me shoppin."

"It was awful she takes hours to pick out a single piece." Hidan whined.

* * *

End of chapter 10, next up is the final chapter with Leader-sama Pein.


	11. Chapter 11

Author's note:

Well here it is the last chapter of This One Time, the main character is good old completely emotionless Pein, well thank god this is a humor story

* * *

Chapter 11: Pein

"Actually I don't have to do it, I'm the leader remember and I wouldn't even get paid if I did it anyways. Sorry to disappoint you all."

"What! Are you serious!" Konan yelled. "I had to tell people I caught on fire, and now you're not going to say anything! No way in hell."

"Uhh Konan maybe you should calm down." Pein asked worriedly.

"Fuck that this shit was embarrassing, you're doing it." Hidan said.

"Deidara-sempai blew up my room because of this!" Tobi said.

"Now Pein you can either share with us that one time, you know which, or we can beat the shit out of you." Konan threatened.

"No Konan please not _that _its so embarrassing." Pein pleaded on the verge of tears.

"Do it or I'll eat your face." Zetsu said.

"This isn't fairrrrrr, 'sob', this one time Konan got bored and she made me dress up like a girl and sing the Wizard of Oz soundtrack. Ahhh Konan why!?" Pein ran off crying.

"Its like the time we caught him crying at the end of Old Yeller." Kisame said.

* * *

And there you have it the final chapter of This One Time. Soon I will be putting up my new comedy story so stay tuned.


End file.
